Me, my life, my journey … so far!
Hi I’m Clayton John Ainger!
Welcome to my website.
I wanted to share with you a little about me, my life, and my journey, away from the ‘formal’ roles I play in my life and the formalities shared throughout this website.
I have much to be grateful for!
Firstly, I am alive and well. I am wonderfully flawed, and I am so thankful for the divine perfection within my imperfections. I have many dreams and many wishes. I am full of desires to explore and go on adventures within me with spirit and outside of me across this world of exquisite beauty. I so am blessed that, after two previous marriages, to feel and be in love like it’s the first time.
Although, I miss being called ‘Daddy’ I have the privilege of being ‘dad’ to my very smart, incredibly talented, and highly empathetic daughter – I’m not biased at all – hahaha. I have a twisted and mischievous sense of humour; I am the grandson to Nanny Rene, who I miss every day since she departed this dimension for another. I continue to learn and grow from my struggles and as embrace the miracle that is my life.
What else can I tell you…?
I am married to the wonderfully kind, radiant and marvellously playful Olivia
I relish sharing my time with very special, very close friends – some you can see in the photos above
I love the speed, dips, twists, turns, spins, and loops of riding rollercoasters
I am a first degree blackbelt in Taekwondo
I treasure my time with the divine in my meditations and channelling new insights to share with you
I love being in ceremony and working with different shamanic medicines
I love being present with my body and pushing myself in my daily workouts
I love taking time out to listen to audiobooks by Peter James and Scott Mariani
I love all kinds of music and going to concerts including, The Script, Def Leppard, Robbie Williams, Ixchel Prisma, Ludovico Einaudi
I love to learn. At the moment, I am studying a new master’s in psychology and neuroscience of mental health
I love art. My favourite artists are Luca Bellandi and Robert Oxley
I particularly enjoy writing, and
I have Minion tattoos of family and friends who have had a significant impact on my life
So, what about my struggles?
Many of my biggest struggles and life lessons all flow from ‘People Pleasing.’ I learned from a very early age that if I wanted to feel safe and be safe, I had better take care of everyone else’s needs first. I told myself ‘other people are special’, and that my wants, my needs, my dreams did not matter – or at least that was the story I told myself, for a long time.
Fear, over whelming anxiety, guilt, resentment, and loneliness caused me to hide my true nature, hold myself back, to blend into the background, to play safe and ‘settle’ in many areas of life. In 2015, just after launchings my book – The Ego’s Code – an event participant told me ‘I was the best kept secret, and where have I been hiding?’
The ripple effects of my people pleasing led to a dark depression in my 20’s and 30’s, mental health challenges, food addition where I constantly soothed myself with sugary treats leading to a weight gain of 252 pounds (18 stone), guilt when I received money and wealth for fear of being seen, deep seated self-betrayal, a disregard of my own well-being, neglected relationships, lying to others, cheating, and a complete loss of faith. I wore so many masks, that I did not even know who I was anymore or recognise myself in the mirror.
The divine led me on a 20-year journey of understanding
Through my struggles the divine led me on a 20-year journey of understanding negativity, self-betrayal, and incongruent behaviour to appreciate the spiritual reasons behind it all and the related consequences in my life. Every event, minor and significant, had a very important meaning, message, action, and energy that helped me to heal and improve my life in a meaningful way, so I could experience more joy.
My understanding reached a significant turning point in 2017. After an event I was running in Canada, a participant said to me ‘you are the most congruent teacher I have ever met. Who you are on stage, is clearly who you are in life.’ Whilst my ego loved this feedback, my Soul called out, ‘Am I’? The answer that came screaming out of my heart was ‘No.’ I asked the divine – Where am incongruent? When am I incongruent? How am I incongruent? Why am I incongruent? More importantly what do you mean by congruency and what action do I need to take for the highest good of all. This led to vast and significant changes in my life and the channelled teachings on Congruency you will find throughout my website, in my blog and new online courses coming out in the near future.
Here’s what I realised…
We are never alone. The divine has our back! Every single day, without exception, my soul calls to me to help me, to guide me, to teach me. Either I listen and act or I don’t. When I do magic happens. When I don’t I learn…sometimes the hard way. Life in many ways is like being in ceremony where I am asked by Spirit, do you want to learn the human way (which repeatedly takes longer and is more painful) or the divine way (quick, easy and in the moment).
There is a sophistication to the divine and there is so much more to who you, than the person see in the mirror. We are all conscious, aware, awake, alive. Yes, we do live long periods of life on autopilot, but our natural state of being is to be and live consciously which is the place from which your Soul calls to you in every moment. All you need to do is listen. While our life journeys and experiences are unique, we are all connected and all matter, but we have to matter to ourselves first.
In all of my incongruencies, behind all of my masks, there was one simple truth that was shouting the loudest, not from my soul, but from my ego…I was telling myself ‘I didn’t matter to me.’ Not once, I had I ever said iMatter, to me. But on reflection this felt like a huge step…so my first step was simply saying everyday…I want to matter to me. Then ask myself, one simple question…Why am I doing this for me…? if I couldn’t answer the question, I knew in that moment, I was about to compromise and betray myself.
So, what’s changed…?
As simple as it sounds, I am happy and love my life. Every day, I enjoy so many blissful highs, and when the divine throws me a curve ball, I am now able to manage life’s lows to resolution with kindness and compassion for myself and others; I am confident, courageous and trust myself; I am able to share my story in the hope it helps and inspires others; I am blessed with good health, even though my weight fluctuates and my food addiction occasionally raises temptation; Every morning, when I wake I am so grateful to be alive and excited for the day ahead.
I am still on my journey, still learning, growing, and enjoying my life’s adventure, but I am no longer scared to be me, no longer alone, no longer hiding because I know iMatter to me. From deep within my soul, I want the same thing for you…
You will always be welcome…
The first thing I want you to know, is that no matter what is going on in your life, you will always be welcome here, you will always be accepted and appreciated for who you are, and it is my intention that our community be a safe haven for everyone who needs a safe place to just be, to laugh, to cry, to rant, to rage, to sing, to dance, for a hug, or just for someone to listen. We are here for you!
So, whatever brought you to us today, I am glad you are here.
It is my intention that over time that this website becomes your website, for you to use as you need. I will continue to add exercises, courses, meditations, blogs, personal stories, mini rune readings, channellings from spirit guides to guide you.
You can explore one page at a time, or dip in and out as you need.
Wherever your life’s adventure takes you, always remember you are loved and that the divine within you and all around you, has always got your back.
Trust in you and just know,
your Soul is listening when you need to be heard.
In good times, or during life’s struggles, your Soul will always guide you to your truth, and show you the next ‘right’ step to take for your highest good and the highest good of all. Every single time, 100% of the time, the answers you seek will simply rise up from within you.
I hope that this website, our community, and all its offerings inspire you to keep asking questions and listen for your Soul’s reply.
With love and deep gratitude
Be curious, ask questions, listen, then act for your highest good
A warm welcome.
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The Ego's Code Meditation
Free yourself of negativity! The Ego’s Code meditation is a powerful healing journey. Regular users of the meditation have confirmed it helps to free you of the negativity and pain that holds you back, brings clarity and dissolve obstacles that previously sabotaged success